Anchored in Connections
I’ve never felt more connected to life, nature and the human race than when I was in the middle of the sea, surrounded by water on all horizons. The vast silence and soothing embrace of the sea allowed me to take a deep look at life. My soul’s reflection on the ocean showed me how small my problems were.
My husband and I lived on a sailboat for 20 years. We docked, anchored, and sailed to more places than I can remember. New boats often get a welcome invitation as soon as they drop the hook in a new anchorage. There’s always someone to catch your lines in marinas or help with whatever you need. Potlucks are a way of life, and the sense of community is strong.
Maybe it’s the fact that out there, you’re on your own. Hurricanes, storms, sinking boats: There’s no one coming to help you. You’re at the mercy of the elements, stripped of modern life’s protection, and must rely on your wits, skills, and sometimes favor from the sea gods to survive. You’re back to basics: Face nature, survive, help when you can. Being alone with your salty crew makes the encounters on land so much more precious.
We met people from around the world, from different cultures and beliefs, and some have become lifelong friends. What I love the most is their willingness to look beyond appearance or social status. Out there, it doesn’t matter if you’re a millionaire or scruffy boat bum: We face the same elements, and when one is in trouble, we show up for a rescue… and everyone looks the same in flip-flops.
One day, the wind changed, and I needed rescuing.
Chronic illness, surgeries, and a shift to sober living made this period of transition very difficult. I didn’t fit into my life anymore. I felt lost. We were docked at a busy marina constantly surrounded by people, with lively gatherings at the tiki hut every night, and those were my loneliest days.
It doesn’t matter if you live in paradise, how far you travel, or how big your life is; if you’re disconnected from your heart, Source, and others, you’ll feel the void. My closest girlfriends held and supported me, mirroring things I could not see, stuck in a cycle of anxious thoughts.
I dug deep within and slowly understood what my heart was crying for: connection. Without my circle, I would not have seen the solutions that were hiding behind false beliefs and mind chatter. Friends can be our eyes and hearts when we’re overwhelmed. They helped me ask the right questions and steer me back to myself, spirit and a community aligned with my heart.
It’s the connections that fill our lives with love that make it worth living.
- Connection to self: clarity, compassion, confidence, boundaries, and self-care.
- Connection to others: joy, laughter, support, accountability, and a compass when I lose sight of land.
- Connection with spirit: creativity, peace, inspiration, and trust in the unknown.
I recently survived breast cancer, and a huge lesson I got from this ordeal is how important it is to have a strong, loving community around you when life’s cosmic 2 x 4 hits you. My circle reminds me of my inner light, especially on dark days when it’s easy to disconnect and forget.
Who you surround yourself with can help you shine or leave you drifting. How does each of your relationships make you feel? Uplifted, neutral, or deflated?
Fill your circle with people who make you feel light and bright. That treasure is the gold.
Carole Fontaine is the award-winning author of the SAIL Above the Clouds series, sailor of storms, teacher of hearts, and book whisperer, guiding women to transform fire into wisdom and dreams into books.